Shaggy Dog
The Boy needs a haircut. It will not be his first, but he hasn’t had one since the first, so… yeah. It’s time. It’s not like his hair is in his face or he’s tripping on it or people are accusing him of looking like a hippie (other than me). He is just turning into a little mop-head. His hair looks, at the moment, like a cross between Bieber hair (before Bieber got his hair cut) and 1968 Beatles mops. I’m not saying he needs to be shaved bald like me, but I don’t want him looking like a hobo either.
So what’s the holdup? Why have we continually allowed him to look like a cast member of Hair? It’s not that we haven’t tried. You see, The Boy is a wiggler. He is incapable of sitting still for longer than three seconds. He is a perpetual motion machine. If we could somehow harness his raw energy and bottle it we’d make a fortune. The only time he isn’t spinning in 15 different directions is when he’s asleep, and I’ve already talked about how that works out. So we can’t cut his hair while he’s asleep, because it’ll wake him up and that’s the last thing that we want.
My mother apparently cut my hair while I slept when I was a baby. I slept through anything. According to legend, the neighbor had a dog that was outside my window and the dog barked all day and all night. Thusly, I learned to sleep like the dead. Not so with The Boy, and so cutting his hair while he’s asleep is not a valid option.
Also, I don’t know if you’re aware, but scissors are sharp. So a scissors and whirling dervish combination is less than optimal. We tried trimmers once, but he kept whipping his head around to see what the buzzing thing we were getting near him was. We ended up being so afraid we were going to clip him that we just called off the haircut.
We have recently found that his activity slows like that of a yogi when he watches TV. More specifically, Shaun the Sheep. He will sit in my lap reclining against my chest and watch his daily half-hour’s worth of TV in complete stillness. OK not “complete,” but he’s pretty still for about 10 minutes before he starts to get fidgety. We don’t let him watch a lot of TV. We figure it’s a pretty bad habit to start, especially since both The Wife and I (to a lesser degree) are addicts. He loves to read books (bee?) and we prefer to encourage that. Plus, even if it’s not true, there’s still the nagging rumor that Babies + TV = Autism. See this post.
So today I did a trial run of sorts and clipped his finger and toe talons while he sat in my lap watching the three allotted Shaun shorts (three per half hour episode). It actually worked out really well. It almost seemed as if cutting his nails was as equally interesting as the show. He didn’t fidget, fight or pull away. I deemed the exercise a success and granted a foray into hair cutting.
I will of course post the results of the haircut when we build up enough courage to attempt it. Don’t expect pictures.
Daddy On The Fly 
. . . toe talons . . . 🙂
Let him see the clippers running multiple times. Run it over dad’s head even though he doesn’t have any hair. I assume you will use a clipper guard so after it becomes less interesting you might try again. Also, we might look into hair cutting scissors and see if they have any blunt ended ones.