The Terrible Threes
Don’t let anyone tell you there is such a thing as the Terrible Twos. They might be trying, but only compared to the Ones in which the child is still delightfully lacking in willpower. During the Twos, the child is discovering himself and what he is capable of doing and discovering that he has boundaries. It is this sudden discovery of boundaries that, I imagine, causes most of the headaches. This is still nothing compared to the Threes.
The Boy turned three in January this year and almost immediately Mommy and I noticed a marked change in his behavior. His willpower seems to have increased exponentially and he is contentious on almost every issue. We have been told that he is testing his boundaries. Yup, they’re still there. Except he tests them on a regular basis as if expecting for them to suddenly vanish. We seem to battle over everything now and I can not afford to lose even an inch. No quarter given! Especially not after he ate that penny a few weeks ago. That is a story for another time.
Dinner seems to be the focal point each evening in the trials of the Three. The Boy, like so many other members of my family, does not do well when he hasn’t eaten in a while. He gets cranky and even mild conflict can set him off on a rampage. Couple this with the fact that he’s just been told he has to come inside to eat, and he’s going to eat the same thing as Mommy and Daddy and you have a nightly recipe for tantrums. Dinner becomes willpower warfare.
Go sit at the table please.
No. I don’t want to sit at the table.
Please sit at the table now.
No. I don’t want to eat.
Time Out for not doing what I say.[HYSTERICAL CRYING]
Time Out is over. Please go sit at the table.
[SITS AT TABLE AND CONTORTS FACE INTO A VISAGE WORTHY OF A GARGOYLE]
Take a bite please
I don’t want to eat that.
You have to eat and this is what we’re having tonight.
I don’t like it.
You haven’t even tried it yet.
How about 3 bites.
How about all the bites.
You have to feed me.
You are a big boy and can feed yourself. Scoop a bite and eat it please.
Humph.
[DADDY LOADS A SPOON] There is a bite for you. Pick it up and eat it.
[PUTS BITE IN MOUTH] Whether or not he likes it is irrelevant.
From this point it could go a number of ways. He could finish his plate. This is probably the most rare circumstance. He could reach a point that Mommy or I feel is acceptable and be excused from the table. This happens sporadically and without pattern. Most of the time he is given an ultimatum. No Story and no Milk before bed if you don’t eat your dinner. Sometimes we set a timer on the microwave giving him a countdown clock. This usually has the effect of turning him into a screaming mess, but it gets our point across. If you do not eat within a reasonable amount of time, you lose later privileges.
It sounds good in theory, but the problem is that The Boy doesn’t ever seem to learn the lessons we are teaching. We are very careful not to backslide or to cave even once, because that would set a dangerous precedent and make gaining back the ground all the more difficult. Yet he still pushes the same issues over and over.
We’ve been told we’re doing the right thing. Yippee for us. All I know is that I’m ready for Four and whatever change that brings. Hopefully it will be for the better.
Daddy On The Fly 
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